What does “estate planning” mean to you? Meetings with financial advisors, accountants, and lawyers? Well, those are all important, but what about meetings with your parents and your kids? It’s easier to talk about investment strategies than it is to write an obituary, but someone must do it. Wouldn’t it be better to do that now, so you don’t have to do it while in the first throes of grief?

One of the greatest gifts my mother gave her family was “the book.” She put it together about five years before she passed and insisted on reviewing it with my brother and I every time when were in town. It included all the details we needed to know, from bank accounts to the list of people to call when she passed. We didn’t have to worry about forgetting someone. She had written the obituary as she wanted it, made clear her preferences for the memorial, and confirmed the plot at the cemetery. There was no second-guessing, no family disagreements; we simply followed her wishes.

Do you know what to do when your parent passes? Will your children know when you are gone? It’s never too early to start planning. If you have the aging parent, perhaps you can build your books together. So where to start?

I suggest a good old-fashioned notebook with dividers. If you want to go electronic, make sure everyone who needs it has access to the file. The sections will be specific to your situation, but you can get started with some of the basics. Do you know where this information is? If you don’t, it’s time to start writing your book of life!

Immediate needs include:

o   Copies of any health care directives, including contact information for designated decision maker(s)

o   Contact information for preferred clergy for the dying and/or the family

o   Organ donor preference

o   List of people to contact, including the best number and/or email address (and any preferences for which family member makes the call)

o   Obituary and information for publishing

o   Funeral home, along with an prepaid arrangements (great to have a name and number)

o   Arrangements for any minor children (or other persons dependent on the deceased)

o   Arrangements for pets

o   Letters left to loved ones

Less immediate, but important

o Will and Trust, with executor identified (who should have a copy of the documents)

o Digital will so you can access and/or close social media and other digital accounts

o Probate or steps to avoid probate (if applicable)

o Durable Power of Attorney for finances

o Employment information, including any benefits available and the HR contact

o Bank accounts and credit cards. Are there any automatic transactions that you need to cancel and/or be sure to continue? Are there online passwords you need to know? Any accounts you need to close?

o Insurance policies, with company contact and claim process

o Retirement plans, pensions, government benefits

o Real estate, documents include deed, closing documents, capital improvements

o Vehicles and other assets – titles, lien releases, loan details

And most important….

Passwords, passwords, passwords. Using a password manager that includes family sharing is secure and makes sure you or your heirs can access all accounts.

Bonus: If you have years of photographs, make sure they are labeled. Your heirs may want them, but they won’t care if they don’t know who is in the picture!

Does that list seem overwhelming? Well, it is just the start. My mother gave us a gift by doing all these things years before she was physically unable to do it. She also cleaned closets and gave keepsakes to people who would appreciate them. Some people call it death cleaning, some call it minimalist living, but whatever you call it, you will be giving your heirs time to grieve and move forward without having to sift through boxes of things they know nothing about. What can you do for your heirs (or with your parents) now to make life easier when you are no longer here?